The dude in Norway that's currently making you look bad
Guys who get on morning shows for elaborate proposals are dicks. And this overachieving Scandinavian is the biggest of all of those dicks, because just look at the sheer scale of what he did for his then-girlfriend. Simply giving a woman a billion-year-old stone created 120 miles under the earth and raised to the surface by a volcano no longer cuts the mustard. Thanks to this guy, now you have to build a goddamn Italian bistro, too: