Stuff Your Face(book)
with more delicious content
Sign Up Now Invite Friends

No, really, here's how to actually pick up a woman at a wedding

Flickr

Dry clean the cocktail sauce off your suit; wedding season's here again and it's time to eat shrimp cocktail. And hook up -- just not for the reasons you think. Here's the real deal on why you can get lucky while you get your prawn awn

  • Know the real deal. Despite what you've heard, weddings don't automatically dissolve us into a teary-eyed pile of estrogen and Spanx. Sans-date status can be no sweat -- most of us are just stoked to dress up and booze with people we rarely see.
  • Toe the line. Not having to pay for booze rocks -- said the other 200 people queued up for Chardonnay. You can't buy us a drink, but waiting in line for one goes a long way.
  • Be a third wheel. The singles table seems like an obvious move, but you'll get farther with a couple (not like that, unless these are the friends from Burning Man). Hanging with your paired-off friends assures any interested women have a direct line of inquiry to you through your buddy's girlfriend.
  • Slow your roll. The awareness bottleneck of dateless-ness is probably "Wonderful Tonight", so become a repeat slow song-requester and swoop in. We'll appreciate the ask, and the band will appreciate that you aren't requesting "Private Eyes", even though it is the best song ever.
  • Chivalry. We're at our girliest at weddings, and not just because we put on an extra layer of mascara and are carrying smaller purses. Our shoes are killing us, and we are definitely cold, so make with the jacket -- we need it.
  • Take the long view. You don't have to close the deal before the dessert trays are cleared and people remove ties from sweaty foreheads. There are plenty of postgame opportunities. You are only a couple degrees away from connecting with us -- we're not turning into a pumpkin after the ball. And frankly, even pumpkins have FaceTime.

More From Around the Web

Like what you see?

Grab seconds on our Facebook page.

check out Hotel Thrillist