The Jetovator Wile out on the water

Because drug smugglers and Cedric Benson shouldn't be the only ones getting crazy high on the open water, the Jetovator's street-bike-ish jet pack frame harnesses the power of a jet ski (via a special hose) to create riot-quelling jets of water, hurtling riders at speeds of 25mph up to 30ft in the air, or 10ft underwater, sometimes intentionally. Anyone looking to "ride the hose" should talk to Greg Oden will have to choose between two skill-based models:

The Beginner: With stationary nozzles, this setup requires a person on the tethered jet ski to control the throttle while the rider hangs on and commands only the thrust direction, or, in the case of pubescent teenage boys, nothing at all.

The Expert: Because nobody is buying a crazy-ass jet pack with training wheels, this number has thrust/throttle controls, plus hand grips that articulate the two side jets, allowing autonomous riders to pull off flips, dives, and barrel rolls, moves Cedric Benson will eschew in favor of two yards and a cloud of... something.