Sure, your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but it's badass biking and beer that bring the men to the Lumberyard, a mountain bike and BMXing oasis in a gutted bowling alley that was refurbed by a former X-Gamer to look like a crazy, wood-laden level of Tony Hawk, minus all the Papa Roaches. And while the joint's pub is under construction, the course is challenging even to newbs and pros who haven't had a drink. What you'll find if you're:
Pee-wee Herman (Beginner): All designated by green paint, smaller jumps and wide tracks sub for training wheels on a course that nonetheless offers challenges as you hone your skills without having to pay the medical bills.
Cool Lance Armstrong (Intermediate): Marked in brown -- presumably to mirror your pants when considering it -- this one's geared toward MTBers, and features progressively bigger ramps, plus boardwalk-style & skinny rail tracks, and a staircase descent.
Mat Hoffman (Mat Hoffman): The blue zone's a series of high-speed ramps, multi-level jumps, and half-pipe-style launchpads that'll get you so high, you'll laugh at a joke in Two and a Half Men.
Members can store their bikes on site (or rent KHS dirt jumpers and Free Agent BMXes), and they're also hard at work on their equivalent of a black diamond: a massive section with jumps so high and wide, there's actually a foam pit underneath, and damn right, it's better than yours. Mainly because you don't have a foam pit.
Published: May 21, 2012 at 4:00am EDT
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