Stuff Your Face(book)
with more delicious content
Sign Up Now Invite Friends
Please turn on background colors and images in print options

Please, tase me bro

San Diego

Seeing how nowadays you basically have to go to a town hall meeting or a Phillies game to see someone get tased (and good luck staying awake for either of those!), an SD local with an intensive paintball background dreamed up UTB: a fresh-to-death team sport born from the desire for a more futuristic, though still quite painful, way for dudes to get an intense adrenaline rush, via reduced-power tasers for "shock value", something Tulsa's WNBA squad could also get by trading seldom-used small forward Chastity Reed.

How to Play:
Teams of four battletoads! through three 7min periods on a 200ft x 85ft playing field with a key-esque “Shock Zone” in front of each goal, which only one defender can occupy for any length of time (most teams go sans-goalie in favor of an additional attacker). Scoring comes by throwing/pushing/carrying the nearly Swedish-workout-sized ball across the plane of a standard indoor soccer goal. And because watching eight dudes stun each other into oblivion would only be fun the first infinity times, defensive stuns are reserved for the ball-carrier only, while those in possession are totally free to electrically limp-arm any hapless defenders who dare to actually defend, though neck or groin stuns trigger 30-45s power-plays, so... people will most likely continue zapping you in the neck/groin.

Where to See Dudes Get Tased:
Taking things to a place known for all things legal and safe, they're hitting Thailand in the beginning of March for an all-star exhibition featuring members of the San Diego Spartans, among others, before bringing things back later in the month for a match in Huntington Beach where, once again, the strong arm of the government will be able to regu... zzzzzzz.

Other Stories You Will Like

More From Around the Web

Like what you see?

Grab seconds on our Facebook page.