Andy’s Tailgate Cruiser Lots of fun, in lots

Tailgating is inevitably a hassle, what with the cleaning off the grill, the packing everything in the car, and the being arrested for recklessly rear-ending someone. Because the other kind of tailgating can also get messy, let Andy's Tailgate Cruiser take care of you.

Started by a retired Navy man, ATC's a one-stop rental shop for parking lot pregames: just pick out your equipment kit online, and they'll have it waiting for you at their designated spot, where you can then just leave it when you're done, especially useful for those dragged to WNBA games, and subsequently contemplating suicide. The standard package works for 5-8 guests (or get fully custom with the “Build-A-Tailgate” option), and includes a cruiser cart to caddy your haul of gear like a Weber Q100 propane grill, a 10' x 10' tailgate canopy (w/ optional hurricane-blocking wind wall), 8 collapsible chairs, and a 28qt cooler that holds about 35 standard “12oz cans”, so, say around five Christina Hendrickses. Current pick-up locations include The Terps' Byrd Stadium (lot 4B near the Comcast Center), lot 8 of RFK, and one block north of Nationals Park (on 25 M St SW), in "the only lot near the stadium that allows tailgating", as their organization won't admit that boozing has become a Nationals pastime.

Should you indeed be employing Andy for a Nats game, they are allowing him to provide all your food, too, which he does via four delicious combo options like Sausage 'n Peppers, Ribs 'n Chicken, and Hams 'n Hots, marking the first time ever that a pig showing up to your tailgate won't mean things have gone disastrously wrong.