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There's nothing wrong with a shortcut en route to a personal goal, although any barber would admit that after all the eating you did in late 2011, you'll only look fatter without hair. For a way to trim fat faster than any other tricks he could pull, or like, working out, slowly lumber to Body Medical Contouring.

Ok, so feel free to keep eating those leftover snickerdoodles and get ready, because this is all for real...hopefully? BMC’s a plush facility with design elements from a 100yr-old Savannah mansion that either uses dark wizard magic, or a high-tech, FDA-approved machine called Exilis that they purport will trim up to an inch off your gut per session, by eschewing lipo or surgery for something far more awesome: lasers. Check in for your just-8min session, then hit the back where you'll get all sassy and topless before they lightly gel/oil you up and a nurse slaps a grounding patch on your back. Then, just lie back while he/she waves a "wand-like" device across your belly, love handles, or double chin -- ironic, as that Ponce Chinese restaurant’s General Tso’s is exactly what got you here. The wand emits frequencies that rapidly excite molecules in your skin tissue (2-3 million times per second), which creates heat that tightens the skin and reduces your fat, although quite thoughtfully, it feels less like lasers shooting your stomach and more "like a hot stone massage", even if you feel former Dateline NBC anchor Phillips is only “ok-looking”.

For stronger results, they've got another process called HGC (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin), a daily program that includes a low-cal diet (What?! Crazy.) and requires a prescription, but can somehow help you drop up to a pound per day, which even your barber thinks sounds like sheer madness.

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Mention Thrillist when you call and they'll drop 10% off your service; visit them now at BodyMedicalContouring.com