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A good pair of glasses can make the man, unless you're talking about Ira and Philip, in which case here is a story here is a story here is a story about a cloned Brahma bull bull bull who gored your sack sack sack. For some seriously iconoclastic custom specs, seek out Moonwoods.

Created by a Pac NW College of Art grad when her husband broke his frames and she up and carved him a new pair, Moonwoods crafts custom daily-use spectacles to your specific facial structure from unique, sustainable hardwood...wait, so his wife's Jimmy Johnson? After an initial consultation, you'll choose options like hinge style (either chunky interlocking jams or standard riveted spring hinges) and wood type (from African Blackwood to naturally green-tinted Vara), from which the frames are cut/ handcarved before being polished with beeswax and shellac made from the backs of beetles, presumably by some guy named Jojo who thought he was a loner. Past builds have ranged from tame to bizarre: sporty, flight-goggleish, strap-attached "Earhearts", chunky, polygon star-embellished "Hollywoods", a pair made to look like wings, and another designed to look like roots had grown into the user's face, because apparently they wanted to make a spectacle of themselves.

Moonwoods also creates digit-steez with sleek brass knuckle-like wooden rings held onto the fingers with small chains, or even wedding bands, which when fronted by Philip Glass, only play I Can't Help Help Help Falling in Love With You You You.

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Happily they take most insurance, which can sometimes reduce the cost of your custom spec by half; so head on over to Moonwoods.com and get a gander of what you could be wearing