Using old-world techniques can get you known for your craftsmanship and attention to detail, though some might be put off by all that creepy, righteous self-flagellation. Employing techniques you won't need to cover up with bandages and a shirt, Tumbleweeds Odd Shop.
TOS upscales and upcycles quality plastic shades into shockingly cheap wooded-out eyepieces via "old-world veneering techniques", all from a pastry chef and her long-time carpenter husband who recently transplanted from AZ... but please, don't judge them yet. Highlights from their line include:
Pee-Wee Herman Inspired No. 35
Honoring their love for Herman's
fearless masturbation schedule "unique style", these Ray-Ban-esque shades are seamlessly and diagonally "vinlaid" with birds-eye maple and "a rich Italian wood", which probably vino-laid your college sweetheart during her semester abroad. Sorry dude.
Two-Toned Ebony and Quilted Maple
These Wayfarer horn-rimmed crossbreeds have light maple lower rims juxtaposed with ebony uppers painstakingly layered over solid black frames that're "spring loaded" like John Daly in March, April, May, and half of June.
Lightly tinted green, these clear-framed amber-lensed beauties are coated with a naturally grainy poplar, giving the shades an earthy look purportedly "great for a hike", though, on the negative side, you do have to deal with the Philip Rivers always touching your butt.
If you feel like you're going to need more, they've got a "Summer Wooden Sunglasses of the Month Club" granting a discounted trifecta delivered each summer month to keep your face fresh, and your lashes hidden.
Published: June 13, 2011 at 4:00am EDT
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