Richard Clark Boots

Every kid dreams of being a cowboy, but it's the rare man who can live most of his life amongst animals, not to mention see his every mistake replayed on a seven-story tall television. At least look the part, with Richard Cook Custom Boots.

A direct descendant of a Texas Revolutionary War hero (and 19yr TX peace officer), Seguin-based Cook handsews bespoke exotic-leather 'kickers using skills he learned as the last student taught by Jack Reed -- a guy who spent two less years making boots than Andre caught balls in '93 (50). The boots are designed to function either on the range or in the dancehall (or under your desk), with custom options including toe shape, top length, and heel size, plus materials from basic calf leather to kangaroo, ostrich, and elephant, secretly imported via an Operation Dumbo Drop that, like the film, is no laughing matter. Exotic creations include a 14in topped bullhide number with a State of TX graphic inlay, a round-toe, chestnut brown, sheen crocodile high-ankle pair, an Italian calf/kangaroo job with an eagle wing inlay, and a 2in heeled tan calf number with a lizard collar, but not a Broken Lizard collar, because...meow!

Other options include initials, toe bug designs, pull-straps, and intricate patterns -- like a post when you're supposed to run a hitch, and...oh, maybe the fans'll blame Kitna?