Tables are the weak link in bachelor pad decor, purchased not for aesthetics, but out of the need to put down that Pizza Pocket before the burn gets serious. Upgrade thyself, with a table from Grand.

Somerville's eclectic art collab/home furnishing boutique just got in an extensive table stash, which runs the wood-gamut from reversible, epoxy'd bamboo to a jet-black hybrid of plywood and birch. Some highlights:

• An Umbra-designed side table made from sustainable acacia wood with an integrated magazine rack, which kind of looks exactly like someone doing Triple H's subtle "suck it" gesture.
• Artist Jennifer James Wright's bench-like Flip top Birch coffee table with lacquered illustrations of a traditional two-story home on one side and an RV camper on the other, perfect for entertaining houseguests of varying socio-economic status.
• The ltd-edition, bedside-ready Cable Table by Somerville's Nerve Action. Made of Baltic birch, machined steel, and bicycle cables, it packs flat and can be assembled in three lightning-quick steps: insert rod, tighten nut, make hilarious "doin' it" joke.

If you still haven't found what you want, hit up Nerve Action directly, and they'll retrofit with a "variety of ironic and semi-ironic" laminates like faux fur, fake snakeskin, and sparkly red vinyl -- the smart way to perfectly accessorize your Pocket burns.