Inn at the Presidio Crash in a San Fran national park

Vacations can pose difficult choices, whether choosing between the serenity of nature and the energy of a major city, or skinny-dipping with Christie Brinkley versus not upsetting a still-kinda-hot Beverly D'Angelo. Solving the first dilemma because Beverly solved the second one by getting old: Inn at the Presidio.

The first hotel to open within the Presidio, the Inn's situated on 1400+ acres of forested greenery at the tip of the San Francisco peninsula, originally a Spanish military outpost dating back to 1776, when folks were oddly busy trying to rid America of English speakers. The building itself dates back to 1903 (built as US military officers' quarters), but it's been made over to meet riot-preventing LEED certification standards, and boasts fireplace-appointed rooms decked with historical photography, and a city-escaping, tree-canopied back deck where gratis nightly wine & cheese can be enjoyed by the fire pit. Also at your disposal are 24mi of hiking/biking trails w/ shoreline views, a golf course that was once a private club for military brass, and a trampoline park in an old airplane hangar, perfect for Derrick Rose-impersonating vicious dunks, followed by Stephen Curry-impersonating vicious ankle injuries.

If repeated bouncing isn't quite enough action for you, you're just a stumble away from the Marina District, loaded with restaurants, nightlife, and, somewhat improbably, the city's hottest chicks, which'll have you saying "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!".