You're basically Keanu Reeves

Now available from the folks at Feral Surf Tours: The Point Break Package -- a two-week holiday in the South of France w/ courses in robbing banks surfing and skydiving. After getting off the aeroplane, you'll be met by guys dressed as dead presidents, who'll then spend the next week teaching you to jump out of them (planes, not dead presidents). You'll spend a week sleeping in a mattress-equipped pop-up tent, emerging to complete six instructor-aided jumps followed by a solo free-fall that's far more exciting than the one Keanu's career is perpetually experiencing. Don't worry, all of your petrified facial expressions will be videotaped for posterity.Week two will give you a sturdier roof over your head and a dozen 90min surf lessons. The whole experience is capped with a wine tour, a night out in Bordeaux, and a screening of the film itself. Vaya con dios, brah!