Whether you're coupled up and looking for excitement, or single and looking for… a couple... not everyone wants to spend their hard-earned vacation in line at Magic Mountain. Some folks want a naughty weekend away. With strippers. And blindfolds. And who are we to judge? So, from swinging in a kinky German castle to hanging out on the set of an adult movie, here's a quick rundown of some of the world's most erotic destinations.
Temptation Resort -- Cancun, Mexico
You'll need to leave your inhibitions at the border before entering this adults-only Mexican resort where guests (both couples and singles welcome) spend their days lounging by one of three swimming pools, each with its own theme: relaxation, sports, and sensual entertainment (AKA the "Sexy Pool"). For ladies wanting to work on their lap and pole-dancing skills, Sensual Fitness classes are on offer at the resort gym.
Price: From $122 per person, per night.
DR Nights -- Dominican Republic
Don't have a girlfriend to accompany you on a romantic weekend away? No problem; this resort will provide you with one... or several. They'll even send two hot lady-friends to pick you up from the airport in a Cadillac. Guests receive the royal treatment from the moment they land -- a complimentary drink and cigar upon arrival, followed by an introductory lap dance from each member of staff.
Price: Packages from $2,130, "gratuities included".
Castle Milkersdorf -- Brandenburg, Germany
Eager to add a castle to your list of places you've done the sex? Anyone with a ren faire fetish (and, like, who doesn't have one of those?) should head to Castle Milkersdorf for an erotic eye-opening, looks-like-one-of-those-murder-mystery-dinner-parties-but-with-sex, cultural experience. Guests -- who stay at a local inn -- are bussed in at 8:30p and out at three in the morning. What happens in between is not for the faint-hearted, although, judging from the pics, it probably resembles a scene from Eyes Wide Shut.
Price: Accommodation, shuttle bus and castle entry from $300 per couple, per night.
Porn Week -- Various locations
Love to watch porn? Love to watch reality TV when you're not watching porn? If you answer "yes" to both questions, then starring in a reality TV show about making adult movies is probably your thing (just a guess). Here, porn buffs are invited to hang out on the set of an adult movie, cameo as extras, and appear on the reality show Porn Week.
The catch: Don't expect the TV producers to pay you for your talent. This fantasy vacation will set you back more than $1,000 a day.
Couples Tower Isle -- Jamaica
There's nothing trashy about this five-star, couples-only resort and spa on the idyllic shores of the Land of Wood and Water. This place is seriously exclusive, as there are no singles, no kids, no crowds... and no clothes. On the resort's "au naturel" private island, clothing isn't optional, it's downright banned!
Price: From $630 per couple, per night.