Probably the most grueling, humorless 28 days you can find that don't involve Sandra Bullock, Boulder Outdoor Survival School's 28-Day Field Course is celebrating its 45th anniversary this Summer with two sessions that'll teach you how to ditch modern-day tech and live Bear Grylls-style.
You, 11 other students, and three staff will explore the depths of Southern Utah's Boulder Mountain and canyon country with basically just a knife, water bottle, blanket, and poncho for a month, breeding wilderness competency and an enhanced "sense of self". However, like James Franco in 127 Hours, the experience may leave you "10 to 30 pounds lighter" at the end.
But don't be afraid, Josh Bernstein from TV's Digging For The Truth is the current owner.
Even though no previous outdoor skill or knowledge is needed, in order for your application to be accepted, you'll have to undergo a complete physical, attain a doc's approval in writing, and complete a 1.5mi run during course orientation... namely because you'll be hiking anywhere up to 30mi a day in harsh conditions.
Following orientation stage one is "Impact": a fast-moving, minimal-equipment hike, during which you'll forage for food and have no blankets or ponchos. Luxuries like ponchos and scraps of food aren't generously apportioned to you until "Group Expedition", which'll give you desert survival skills.
From there, it's off to "Survival Camp", where you'll dress live game and learn about "the realities of the human body" (gross!) before being kicked out to fend for yourself during "Solo". Assuming you're still alive, the class will gather yet again but leave the instructors behind for a "Student Expedition", returning just in time for the mysterious "Final Challenge".
While hunting license restrictions mean you'll mainly be eating berries and slugs, they will be sure to pick up a live goat, sheep, or cow from a nearby farm, turning sh*t super-real when "several students hold the animal against the ground while one student cuts its throat quickly with a very sharp knife". After you all stop sobbing, you'll break the animal down, cook it up, and immediately call your high-priced therapist.
Photos: Josh Bernstein / BOSS, Inc.