The 12 Worst Couples You Meet on Vacation

There are horrible people everywhere when you travel. On the plane. On the beach. In restaurants. But what happens when those horrible people… GET TOGETHER???? They create an exponential monster of awful, of course, and make all of those same places -- the plane, the beach, the Eiffel Tower, wherever -- much, much worse.

But exactly which pairs of "soulmates" are the worst when you're on vacation? Here are the Top 12.

Just don’t think too hard about what they’re doing when they get back to the hotel.
 

To the childless, talking excessively about your kids is only slightly more interesting than extended discussions about timeshares. Or your buddy's fantasy football draft. You’re wearing a “Brody’s Mom” T-shirt under that, aren’t you?

The three grand you guys dropped on this vacation would have been better spent on couples therapy. Or divorce lawyers. Please, just stop talking up.
 

The question isn’t if she’s with him for his money. The question is if he’s paid for just the weekend, or screwed his kids out of half a billion dollars.

As turned on as both of you are by dry humping at the buffet, there’s a line of people behind you who just want some Chicken Vinadaloo. So maybe you could save that for, oh, the hotel room you ALREADY HAVE.
 

It's an old dude hitting on an inappropriately-young girl, now with EXTRA creepy!

There is not a single part of either of your bodies that is natural. You’re like the Diet Coke of people.
 

Your coworkers already hate you for posting a never-ending stream of vacation pics. And spending a full 10 minutes to go all Ansel Adams on your pork belly sliders just ensured you will be each other’s only friend when you get home.

If the goal of your vacation was to make single people feel better about their life choices, mission accomplished.
 

You’ve run out of interesting things to say to each other, so now your only source of entertainment is sitting in the corner and talking sh*t about every person unfortunate enough to cross your field of vision. You know, there is this thing called Netflix. You’re at that point. Don’t be embarrassed.

You, sir, officially placed your balls squarely in your lady’s purse the minute you made one of these selfies your profile picture. And you lost them forever the minute you bought his-and-hers selfie sticks.

We get that the last time you were able to take a trip without a baby bag and diapers was when you were 28. But what you don’t get is that you’re not 28, and starting the night with tequila shots at 6pm isn’t leading to crazy tequila sex later. It’s leading to embarrassing fights in public and calling your 17 year-old at 3am.

Bonus points if both your shirts read, “I’m with stupid.” Yes, yes you are.