Make like Tarzan (and Jane) in your very own Chilean treehouse

Remember your mid-tree, middle school clubhouse? It was rustic, all "no girls allowed", and AWESOME. But now that you're a grown-ass man, your needs in the trees have changed; enter the Nothofagus Hotel & Spa -- home to 55 epic rooms with views of the Patagonian Andes, two restaurants, and a massive spa -- it's Mother Nature's best, with the creature comforts girls will surely find inviting.

Treehouse hotel

Seven floors of treehouse livin' await.

treehouse suite, bed
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Flammable? Maybe, but what good's a two-story premium suite without at least a hint of danger?

treehouse suite, bed, window
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Floor-to-ceiling windows make the inside feel like the outside -- excellent for those who prefer experiencing the outdoors from the comfort of the indoors.

Treehouse hotel balcony
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

And outside will still feel like the outside, on your private balcony.

tree house suite living room
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Premium suites come with a living room, where you can call club meetings to order in front of a flatscreen.

treehouse hotel bathroom
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

And suite bathrooms come with whirlpool tubs, where you can use the rainforest shower as a holding area for your water balloon stash.

Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Should you feel like socializing with others, or spend more time being indoorsy, there's plenty of room for both.

treehouse hotel, windows
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Leafy mountain views are the property's centerpiece. 

Treehouse hotel atrium
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

It's as if Middle-earth fornicated with Hogwarts.

Treehouse hotel atrium
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Don't worry, there's an elevator.

Treehouse hotel lobby
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Did your old clubhouse have a water feature? We think not (underachiever).

pool
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Ours didn't even have windows... but this one's got an entire spa, outfitted with a heated swimming pool, whirlpools, a dry and wet sauna, steam therapy, baths built in tree trunks, massages, facials -- you get the picture.

Huilo Huilo forest
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Plus, if you're bored of holding court in your treehouse suite, the Huilo-Huilo Biological Reserve -- 232sqmi of epic protected Chilean forest and wildlife -- has tons of rad activities on offer. 

Huilo Huilo Falls
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Like the Huilo-Huilo Falls, where you can kayak, fish, and hike.

snowboarder
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

And year-round skiing at the nearby Snow Center.

zip line
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

As well as the longest zip-line system in South America (if you're into that sort of thing).

treehouse hotel, night
Reserva Biológica Huilo Huilo

Return to your fancy suite after a day's adventures, and commence the water balloon fight. But rest up -- tomorrow's agenda includes 'capture the flag'.