Rent this private <em>Lost</em>-style island complete with helicopters, jet skis, and zero smoke-monsters

Claiming to be the "most exclusive island in the Mediterranean" (oh come on Malta, you'll let anyone in), Tagomago is a rentable private paradise off the coast of Spain, filled with ultra-lux touches, and which can only be accessed by heli, or a sole access point at sea level.

Tagomago Island exterior
Island-Tagomago.com

This small blip on the map is less than a mile long, is surrounded by turquoise blue waters, and features two buildings: a light house, and "La Casa" -- soon to be known as su casa.

Tagomago Island - La Casa interior
Island-Tagomago.com

La Casa's pretty freaking big, which is understandable because, um, there are no neighbors.

Tagomago Island - La Casa exterior
Island-Tagomago.com

Obviously there's a giant-ass pool, too.

Tagomago Island - La Casa interior bedroom
Island-Tagomago.com

La Casa features five spacious double bedrooms all with en-suite bathrooms "for added privacy", as if being alone on an island wasn't quite enough.

Tagomago Island - La Casa interior kitchen
Island-Tagomago.com

If you're worried about foraging for your next meal, don't sweat it. La Casa's small cadre of staff includes a private cook, other kitchen folk, and a housekeeper.

Tagomago Island - La Casa exterior
Island-Tagomago.com

There's also a captain on hand to sail you to prime areas of the island for fishing and diving, but you can also opt for heli rides & jet skiing. Or you can simply retreat to one of the many pool-side "day beds", which you can only hope won't be a totally exclusive spot.