Some circumstances call for jokes. This is not one of those circumstances: Hot Tub Boats is now operable.
After months of hype and wonder and lust, you can now officially rent a Hot Tub Boat and whip yourself and five friends around Lake Union in a boat that is also a hot tub. That's right -- the floating, drivable Jacuzzi has a small, diesel-fired boiler to maintain a temp of up to 104 degrees, and is also under 15 horsepower, so you don't even need a boaters' education card to steer a boat that is also a hot tub while sitting in said hot tub, using nothing but a joystick.
If that's not enough, you will never be satisfied in your life, but regardless come this Fall, you'll be able to rent the boat for Husky games, and they'll even shuttle you to and from the craft for a fee, which is a small price to pay for a life-changing journey aboard a boat that doubles as a g-damn Jacuzzi.