Since you can't write love songs, get a fully bespoke studio-recorded one from someone who can: just preview & select a template (from Acoustic Ballad, to Tex-Mex, to Jazz, etc.), then use TM's handy Mad Libs-like lyrics and title customizer to add her name and special details. Once you submit your order, one of their pro studio musicians (choose male or female) will lay down the vocals and they'll send it off to you in either MP3 format or in a special gift-wrapped CD/lyrics package, though you've got it simple if your girlfriend's name is Roxanne, and is a prostitute.

Add this to My Thrillist

Order up now and get a custom song in a week at TailoredMusic.com