Spam filters might block bogus male-embiggeners and sketchy Nigerians, but they do nothing to improve the priority of crucial emails, like those for legit male-embiggeners, and that impeccably-credentialed Ministre of Oil who could heal his country's wounds if you'd just lend him your debit card. Highlighting the good instead of hiding the bad: Gtriage.

Out of DC, still-in-alpha Gtriage unleashes their "unblab smart-cloud" AI technology to auto-scan your Gmail inbox and highlight what you consider to be the hottest ish, even if said ish is a rambling friend-request from your mom, who loves you and promises not to embarrass you on your "the wall". Le process: after sign-up, Gtriage starts boning up on your past and present emails, measuring each in over 50 categories, including "user interaction" (kinds of emails you've opened/read/replied to), "time & environment" (time sent/time taken to respond/response on computer vs. Blackberry, etc), "sender characteristics" (# of emails sent in past/human vs. machine sender), and "content characteristics", which include the ratio of punctuation to words, # of links, and the presence and number of emoticons, which everyone knows indicate that a message is highly critical...;) Emails meeting the threshold significance are affixed a red "Important" label; your responses to them (open, ignore, or remove the tag) are similarly analyzed and considered in future tagging, meaning that Gtriage will continue to improve as it better learns your habits and preferences, just like that guy who you sometimes see going through your actual trash, then burying his face in your discarded underthings.

For now, Gtriage'll hook you up as a special beta user for freezy; upon their official end-of-the-month launch, they'll offer three pricing options, from the $3/month "Easy Going" to the $19/month "Overloaded" -- a small price for sanity, and plus by then you and Dr. Suleman Lukan will be totally rolling in petro-dollars anyway.

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