The speakeasy's "mad scientist" mix-master will lead you and your cherished one through five insanely creative cocktails whose arc will "mirror your relationship", from the Champagne-based "First Date", to the bourbon/smoked cider/apple bitters "After Glow", which is finished off with applewood smoke spewed from a Smoking Gun -- a hand-held kitchen appliance you'll be super-excited to receive as a V-Day gift, after you crazy kids get married, and stop having sex.

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Space is limited, so make your reservation by hitting EamonnsDublinChipper.com, and following the small "PX" link on the lower right. So secretive...