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  • 01
    If you're having trouble expressing yourself, spell it out with these necklaces rocking a series of dots 'n dashes, which spell out a name or get printed with other sweet nothings like "Love Me Do", though you may not want to telegraph your feelings too much, lest you suffer buyers re-Morse.
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      If you're having trouble expressing yourself, spell it out with these necklaces rocking a series of dots 'n dashes, which spell out a name or get printed with other sweet nothings like "Love Me Do", though you may not want to telegraph your feelings too much, lest you suffer buyers re-Morse.
    • Venue Info

  • 02
    Portland girls have plenty of crafty sleepwear with octopus prints, so change things up with lacy goodness, taking Glamour's color advice that "muted hues give off a Hollywood-starlet (and not a stripperish) vibe", because she'll obviously want to wear something Kasey Jordan would never be Sheen in.
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      Portland girls have plenty of crafty sleepwear with octopus prints, so change things up with lacy goodness, taking Glamour's color advice that "muted hues give off a Hollywood-starlet (and not a stripperish) vibe", because she'll obviously want to wear something Kasey Jordan would never be Sheen in.
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  • 03
    Let your lady stash her drugs whatever chicks keep in bags in this clutch that looks like a (3rd Edition) copy of Steinbeck's The Pearl, which would make one hell of a heavy necklace.
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      Let your lady stash her drugs whatever chicks keep in bags in this clutch that looks like a (3rd Edition) copy of Steinbeck's The Pearl, which would make one hell of a heavy necklace.
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  • 04
    These "hip, artisanal", confections contain 72% organic cacao from Madagascar, high-end salt that's hand-harvested off the coast of France, and are totally vegan -- for a non-vegan version: feed to cow, eat cow.
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      These "hip, artisanal", confections contain 72% organic cacao from Madagascar, high-end salt that's hand-harvested off the coast of France, and are totally vegan -- for a non-vegan version: feed to cow, eat cow.
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  • 05
    These soft, plush, cream-colored foot-warmers can be monogrammed with your beloved's initials (or something cute and funny, like an inside joke!), and come with comforting inserts made from "therapeutic foam", presumably to help you recall repressed memories from wild parties at Senor Frog's.
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      These soft, plush, cream-colored foot-warmers can be monogrammed with your beloved's initials (or something cute and funny, like an inside joke!), and come with comforting inserts made from "therapeutic foam", presumably to help you recall repressed memories from wild parties at Senor Frog's.
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  • 06
    Since "there's no better time to seal the deal than V-Day", gift her this joint with deep blue sapphires and twin 1k diamonds, meaning it'll be the one day she can't complain about you getting two-stoned.
    More on Estate Double Diamond Deco Ring
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      Since "there's no better time to seal the deal than V-Day", gift her this joint with deep blue sapphires and twin 1k diamonds, meaning it'll be the one day she can't complain about you getting two-stoned.
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  • 07
    Because you're already spending tons of time there (boom!), pimp her mattress with these striped or dotted, multi-colorway, 400-count Pima cotton sateen sheets boasting elegant trim, just like her that time she wore that really elegant dress.
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      Because you're already spending tons of time there (boom!), pimp her mattress with these striped or dotted, multi-colorway, 400-count Pima cotton sateen sheets boasting elegant trim, just like her that time she wore that really elegant dress.
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  • 08
    This limited edition tote has heavyweight, shoulder-length handles, and will playfully get your feelings across while leaving you a bit of wiggle room, or what Antoine Walker calls, "the office".
    More on For Like Ever Tote Bag
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      This limited edition tote has heavyweight, shoulder-length handles, and will playfully get your feelings across while leaving you a bit of wiggle room, or what Antoine Walker calls, "the office".
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  • 09
    Perfect for the "hip and low-key" broad in your life, these simple, numbered prints are super limited edition (only 150 in circulation), and feature an artful, girly pattern called "Melting Cubes", a feat also accomplished by showing Ice the box office for Friday After Next.
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      Perfect for the "hip and low-key" broad in your life, these simple, numbered prints are super limited edition (only 150 in circulation), and feature an artful, girly pattern called "Melting Cubes", a feat also accomplished by showing Ice the box office for Friday After Next.
    • Venue Info

  • 10
    Since a picture's worth all those words, a camera ought to shut her up! gift her this lightweight snap-shooter with built in auto focus, flash, and an exposure indicator, though if she can't identify that herself, you may be dating the wrong girl.
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      Since a picture's worth all those words, a camera ought to shut her up! gift her this lightweight snap-shooter with built in auto focus, flash, and an exposure indicator, though if she can't identify that herself, you may be dating the wrong girl.
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  • 11
    These 10k gold, diamond-encrusted, moon-shaped pendants can be blinged out with the zodiac constellation of your choice, meaning finally, getting her custom jewelry won't be such an Andromeda Strain on your budget.
    More on Constellation Necklaces by Ella Poe
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      These 10k gold, diamond-encrusted, moon-shaped pendants can be blinged out with the zodiac constellation of your choice, meaning finally, getting her custom jewelry won't be such an Andromeda Strain on your budget.
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  • 12
    While certainly not a bacon of the month club, this outfit'll ship a new, nursery-fresh flower of their choice to her door each month; or if you want to get picky, select them yourself by browsing fields like light requirement and propagation method, which coincidentally, for you, requires zero light.
    More on Orchid-of-the-Month Club
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      While certainly not a bacon of the month club, this outfit'll ship a new, nursery-fresh flower of their choice to her door each month; or if you want to get picky, select them yourself by browsing fields like light requirement and propagation method, which coincidentally, for you, requires zero light.
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  • 13
    Bottle your feelings via these whimsical brass and sterling neck danglers filled with fantastical/girly "potions" like "Love Elixer", "Wish Tonic", and "Essence of Dreams", meaning finally, she'll be able to taste your insecurity too!
    More on Remedy in a Bottle
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      Bottle your feelings via these whimsical brass and sterling neck danglers filled with fantastical/girly "potions" like "Love Elixer", "Wish Tonic", and "Essence of Dreams", meaning finally, she'll be able to taste your insecurity too!
    • Venue Info

  • 14
    For the girl who's not impressed by gold or diamonds, these gunmetal chain necklaces come adorned with a vintage brass letterpress pulled from an old hand-cranked printing press; each initial's polished down, but retains some imperfections acquired over time, something your girl will hopefully avoid by means of regular yoga sessions. Or pilates. Or Jazzercize. Whatever, as long as she stays thin while you get fat.
    More on Letterpress Necklace
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      For the girl who's not impressed by gold or diamonds, these gunmetal chain necklaces come adorned with a vintage brass letterpress pulled from an old hand-cranked printing press; each initial's polished down, but retains some imperfections acquired over time, something your girl will hopefully avoid by means of regular yoga sessions. Or pilates. Or Jazzercize. Whatever, as long as she stays thin while you get fat.
    • Venue Info

  • 15
    For a fraction of the price, these Holga reproductions create the same dramatic high-contrast shots as the original medium-format 120mm versions, but not the 8mm versions, because modern women don't appreciate you making them feel like they're trapped in a Cage.
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      For a fraction of the price, these Holga reproductions create the same dramatic high-contrast shots as the original medium-format 120mm versions, but not the 8mm versions, because modern women don't appreciate you making them feel like they're trapped in a Cage.
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  • 16
    If you're serious about this one, dish out the clams for a 14k rose gold-banded heart ring that will surely make you the Captain of her Planet. Heart Power! Monkey-boy sold separately.
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      If you're serious about this one, dish out the clams for a 14k rose gold-banded heart ring that will surely make you the Captain of her Planet. Heart Power! Monkey-boy sold separately.
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  • 17
    From Neiman's Valentino collection, this luxe double-handled patent leather number comes in black or red, with gold hardware and a detailed bow on the front. Clearly, in addition to football, Bow knows you're getting laid tonight.
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      From Neiman's Valentino collection, this luxe double-handled patent leather number comes in black or red, with gold hardware and a detailed bow on the front. Clearly, in addition to football, Bow knows you're getting laid tonight.
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  • 18
    Hopefully not named for the Damien Rice song, this dual-chained affair dangles both a charm and a penny-sized pendant etched with her initials in a cursive script painfully more accomplished than the one you employed while trying to forge her signature on checks.
    More on Delicate Initial Letter Necklace
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      Hopefully not named for the Damien Rice song, this dual-chained affair dangles both a charm and a penny-sized pendant etched with her initials in a cursive script painfully more accomplished than the one you employed while trying to forge her signature on checks.
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  • 19
    A grownup version of the sappy heart-shaped candies, this red pigskin "wafer" notebook is just the right size to slide into her handbag -- for when you're not ready to say "I Love You", but you are ready to say "I Luv U".
    More on Be Mine Wafer Notebook
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      A grownup version of the sappy heart-shaped candies, this red pigskin "wafer" notebook is just the right size to slide into her handbag -- for when you're not ready to say "I Love You", but you are ready to say "I Luv U".
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  • 20
    Instead of making the tragic mistake of picking out lingerie yourself, go with this black lace and chiffon chemise, which'll make her feel high-class even as she's about to get dirty, but not as she's about to get Dirty Bird, because anything associated with Chris Chandler is really more blue-collar.
    More on La Perla Black Lace Slip
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      Instead of making the tragic mistake of picking out lingerie yourself, go with this black lace and chiffon chemise, which'll make her feel high-class even as she's about to get dirty, but not as she's about to get Dirty Bird, because anything associated with Chris Chandler is really more blue-collar.
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  • 21
    These decorative, tin-glazed plates evoke the wares produced in the famed Italian pottery capital of Faenza, though these particular pieces were hand-produced in the New York studio of homewares master John Derian, not to be confused with John DeLorian, who's fast-lane lifestyle quickly took him from pottery to cokery.
    More on Derian 12-Piece Faience Wall Hanging
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      These decorative, tin-glazed plates evoke the wares produced in the famed Italian pottery capital of Faenza, though these particular pieces were hand-produced in the New York studio of homewares master John Derian, not to be confused with John DeLorian, who's fast-lane lifestyle quickly took him from pottery to cokery.
    • Venue Info

  • 22
    Whatever terrible thing you did/are about to do, make up for it with a monthly box of gourmet chocolates (two boxes in December!), containing everything from aphrodisiac truffles to red-fire toffee, each delivered with a card describing the contents' significance relative to the lunar cycle, but no advice on what to do once your sweets-stuffed girl starts exerting her own gravitational pull.
    More on Lunar Chocolate of the Month Club
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      Whatever terrible thing you did/are about to do, make up for it with a monthly box of gourmet chocolates (two boxes in December!), containing everything from aphrodisiac truffles to red-fire toffee, each delivered with a card describing the contents' significance relative to the lunar cycle, but no advice on what to do once your sweets-stuffed girl starts exerting her own gravitational pull.
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  • 23
    This small, white porcelain box with a heart on the top is perfect for holding small keepsakes or jewelry; Glamour suggests you can even leave it empty as a gift to a casual friend who "didn't get -- or expect -- anything", but do that for anyone more serious and it's YOU who won't get any.
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    • About

      This small, white porcelain box with a heart on the top is perfect for holding small keepsakes or jewelry; Glamour suggests you can even leave it empty as a gift to a casual friend who "didn't get -- or expect -- anything", but do that for anyone more serious and it's YOU who won't get any.
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  • 24
    This coral leather job, with a fully leather-lined interior stuffed with pockets and a designer-stamped gold plaque on the front, comes in at a solid $250, so you can either buy a gift for your date, or another hour with her.
    More on Marc by Marc Jacobs Wallet
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      This coral leather job, with a fully leather-lined interior stuffed with pockets and a designer-stamped gold plaque on the front, comes in at a solid $250, so you can either buy a gift for your date, or another hour with her.
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  • 25
    If you're looking to lock it down, it's been nice knowing you they recommend a ring of platinum stocked with three circles of shiny diamonds. Tradition holds that diamonds signify your eternal love, while the three rings presumably represent how many times after marriage you'll have sex.
    More on Tiffany Circlet Ring
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      If you're looking to lock it down, it's been nice knowing you they recommend a ring of platinum stocked with three circles of shiny diamonds. Tradition holds that diamonds signify your eternal love, while the three rings presumably represent how many times after marriage you'll have sex.
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  • 26
    Billed as a "timeless boudoir piece", these long, flowing dressing gowns are crafted out of pure silk, available in black or pink, and have "AP" embroidered in script on the tie belt, so it's just like your tribute outfit to Adrian Peterson, but also available in black.
    More on Agent Provacateur Dressing Gown
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      Billed as a "timeless boudoir piece", these long, flowing dressing gowns are crafted out of pure silk, available in black or pink, and have "AP" embroidered in script on the tie belt, so it's just like your tribute outfit to Adrian Peterson, but also available in black.
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  • 27
    Increase your marital bliss without destroying your marital bank account thanks to this new online venture, featuring prints of "work by top contemporary artists" available in either a limited quantity or for a limited period of time, which, after you give her the gift, hopefully won't still describe your sex life.
    More on Exhibition A
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      Increase your marital bliss without destroying your marital bank account thanks to this new online venture, featuring prints of "work by top contemporary artists" available in either a limited quantity or for a limited period of time, which, after you give her the gift, hopefully won't still describe your sex life.
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  • 28
    Whether you're getting her a box of candies or "a pricey piece of bling", they suggest wrapping it in plain paper you can cover with personal handwritten notes, from things you like about her, to favorite things she's said, to "songs that make you think of her", which's sure to make you both much Closer.
    More on Wrap a gift with your feelings
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      Whether you're getting her a box of candies or "a pricey piece of bling", they suggest wrapping it in plain paper you can cover with personal handwritten notes, from things you like about her, to favorite things she's said, to "songs that make you think of her", which's sure to make you both much Closer.
    • Venue Info

  • 29
    Styled after a silent movie title card, this cine-romantic number reads "If we were actors filming a love scene I'd make a small mistake so we'd have to try again" -- hopefully the only context in which a "small mistake" pops up during your love scenes.
    More on Save your V-Card
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      Styled after a silent movie title card, this cine-romantic number reads "If we were actors filming a love scene I'd make a small mistake so we'd have to try again" -- hopefully the only context in which a "small mistake" pops up during your love scenes.
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  • 30
    This update of the classic Miss Dior fragrance lightens the tone with notes like "green tangerine, sweet strawberry leaves, and caramelized popcorn"; just don't tell your friends you gave her this, or they'll accuse you of desperately kisting 'er butt.
    More on Dior Miss Dior Cherie
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      This update of the classic Miss Dior fragrance lightens the tone with notes like "green tangerine, sweet strawberry leaves, and caramelized popcorn"; just don't tell your friends you gave her this, or they'll accuse you of desperately kisting 'er butt.
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  • 31
    From the uber-classy sack-slingers, this roomy, shoulder-slung weekender's covered in light brown textured leather with oak-stamped rose gold hardware, and features a fully lined brown suede interior complete with releasable buckles to allow for expansion, i.e., room for all the other stuff you will eventually be buying her.
    More on Mulberry Piccadilly Leather Weekend Bag
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      From the uber-classy sack-slingers, this roomy, shoulder-slung weekender's covered in light brown textured leather with oak-stamped rose gold hardware, and features a fully lined brown suede interior complete with releasable buckles to allow for expansion, i.e., room for all the other stuff you will eventually be buying her.
    • Venue Info

  • 32
    From the 120 y/o high-end stationary & leather-goods supplier whose devotees range from Queen Victoria to Madonna, this bright red lambskin notebook's cover is gold-stamped with the words "Everyday I Love You", a surefire way to keep her from filling the pale blue watermarked pages with Kaiser Chiefs lyrics.
    More on
    • About

      From the 120 y/o high-end stationary & leather-goods supplier whose devotees range from Queen Victoria to Madonna, this bright red lambskin notebook's cover is gold-stamped with the words "Everyday I Love You", a surefire way to keep her from filling the pale blue watermarked pages with Kaiser Chiefs lyrics.
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  • 33
    Go all hip and trendy with this hand-dyed beige/white rayon chainette fringe rope necklace, which has pink feathers, gold and silver chain detail, and an adjustable clasp with silver star; they call it "the statement necklace", and at under $100 it won't cause you to faint when yours arrives from Suntrust next month.
    More on Laurel Wells Nash Fringe Necklace
    • About

      Go all hip and trendy with this hand-dyed beige/white rayon chainette fringe rope necklace, which has pink feathers, gold and silver chain detail, and an adjustable clasp with silver star; they call it "the statement necklace", and at under $100 it won't cause you to faint when yours arrives from Suntrust next month.
    • Venue Info

  • 34
    Pack a blanket, pillow, and a bottle (and don't forget your girl), then book it to the far Eastside for a romantic-meets-retro double-feature movie date at the 61-year-old cinema -- they say you'll be in for a very happy ending "if the time is right", although if The Price Is Right, you'd get all that and A BEAUTIFUL DINETTE SET!!!
    More on Movie Night at Starlight Six Drive-in
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      Pack a blanket, pillow, and a bottle (and don't forget your girl), then book it to the far Eastside for a romantic-meets-retro double-feature movie date at the 61-year-old cinema -- they say you'll be in for a very happy ending "if the time is right", although if The Price Is Right, you'd get all that and A BEAUTIFUL DINETTE SET!!!
    • Venue Info

  • 35
    Pump it up with these light brown, 5in leather high heels (which're red on one side of the stiletto), which CL's website promises your lady can wear "with a sexy red dress, or with a tailored jacket and jeans for a pulled-together city look", and are "a deluxe wardrobe upgrade", because if you just get the regular shoes, you don't get lettuce, tomato, or pickles.
    More on Christian Louboutin Pumps
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      Pump it up with these light brown, 5in leather high heels (which're red on one side of the stiletto), which CL's website promises your lady can wear "with a sexy red dress, or with a tailored jacket and jeans for a pulled-together city look", and are "a deluxe wardrobe upgrade", because if you just get the regular shoes, you don't get lettuce, tomato, or pickles.
    • Venue Info

  • 36
    Because being there in sickness AND health apparently isn't enough, get the wifey this platinum ring which (don't tell her!) is 35% off its original price tag and has a triplet of emerald cut diamonds, but not Emerald Nut diamonds, which sucks, because those commercials are totally hilarious.
    More on Triplet Diamond Ring
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      Because being there in sickness AND health apparently isn't enough, get the wifey this platinum ring which (don't tell her!) is 35% off its original price tag and has a triplet of emerald cut diamonds, but not Emerald Nut diamonds, which sucks, because those commercials are totally hilarious.
    • Venue Info

  • 37
    Book the V-Day-themed package at the historic, picturesque Midtown hotel, which includes Champagne, chocolates, and candles-/flower petal-packed turn-down service, so you and the lady passionately scurry to bed and...ooh look, Dinner For Schmucks is on LodgeNet!
    More on Staycation at Mansion on Peachtree
    • About

      Book the V-Day-themed package at the historic, picturesque Midtown hotel, which includes Champagne, chocolates, and candles-/flower petal-packed turn-down service, so you and the lady passionately scurry to bed and...ooh look, Dinner For Schmucks is on LodgeNet!
    • Venue Info

  • 38
    Give her the slip-on shoes that're every bit as relaxed as your relationship, complete with a super-comfy leather footbed and ultra-lightweight canvas upper, also what Charlie Sheen takes before doing art, as he pays hookers lots of money to look on and cheer.
    More on TOMS Classic Canvas Slip-Ons
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      Give her the slip-on shoes that're every bit as relaxed as your relationship, complete with a super-comfy leather footbed and ultra-lightweight canvas upper, also what Charlie Sheen takes before doing art, as he pays hookers lots of money to look on and cheer.
    • Venue Info

  • 39
    Show you know both her names (or even all three of 'em!) with this simple-yet-classy monogrammed circular pendant that comes in 14k rose, yellow, or white gold, sterling silver, or "gold filled", just like the envelopes you had to mail to Ed McMahon's ghost to pay for all this Valentine's Day stuff.
    More on West Avenue Jewelry Monogrammed Disc Necklace
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      Show you know both her names (or even all three of 'em!) with this simple-yet-classy monogrammed circular pendant that comes in 14k rose, yellow, or white gold, sterling silver, or "gold filled", just like the envelopes you had to mail to Ed McMahon's ghost to pay for all this Valentine's Day stuff.
    • Venue Info

  • 40
    Apparently chicks like bags, so go all out with this not-too-big/not-too-small rose suede satchel from NY-based Proenza Schouler, complete with all sorts of pockets and zippered compartments for her to keep nothing, while you hold it all in your jeans pockets.
    More on Proenza Schouler PS1 Medium Suede Satchel Bag
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      Apparently chicks like bags, so go all out with this not-too-big/not-too-small rose suede satchel from NY-based Proenza Schouler, complete with all sorts of pockets and zippered compartments for her to keep nothing, while you hold it all in your jeans pockets.
    • Venue Info

  1. The expensive kind of necking
  2. The best teddies to sleep with
  3. Clutch decisions
  4. Mast Brothers Chocolate Bars
  5. Terry Slippers
  6. Estate Double Diamond Deco Ring
  7. Marcus Collection Sheets
  8. For Like Ever Tote Bag
  9. Melting Cubes
  10. Fuji Instax Mini 7S Instant Camera
  11. Constellation Necklaces by Ella Poe
  12. Orchid-of-the-Month Club
  13. Remedy in a Bottle
  14. Letterpress Necklace
  15. Holga
  16. Heart Ring
  17. Bowed Bag
  18. Delicate Initial Letter Necklace
  19. Be Mine Wafer Notebook
  20. La Perla Black Lace Slip
  21. Derian 12-Piece Faience Wall Hanging
  22. Lunar Chocolate of the Month Club
  23. Jayson's Heart Box
  24. Marc by Marc Jacobs Wallet
  25. Tiffany Circlet Ring
  26. Agent Provacateur Dressing Gown
  27. Exhibition A
  28. Wrap a gift with your feelings
  29. Save your V-Card
  30. Dior Miss Dior Cherie
  31. Mulberry Piccadilly Leather Weekend Bag
  32. Laurel Wells Nash Fringe Necklace
  33. Movie Night at Starlight Six Drive-in
  34. Christian Louboutin Pumps
  35. Triplet Diamond Ring
  36. Staycation at Mansion on Peachtree
  37. TOMS Classic Canvas Slip-Ons
  38. West Avenue Jewelry Monogrammed Disc Necklace
  39. Proenza Schouler PS1 Medium Suede Satchel Bag