Shaquille O'Neal and Guy Fieri actually have a lot in common. Their brash, crass personalities are known to drive polarizing opinions. Each of their instantly recognizable visages seem to grace our screens every 30 seconds. And they both suck at making free throws (in Fieri's case, one can only assume).
Imminently, they'll have another thing in common: both men will be the owners of chicken restaurants.
Naturally, these stories have been covered ceaselessly throughout the annals of the Internet, because when you mention either, people click.
I mean, just look at this.
You get it. And if you didn't have the deep-seeded drive to consume any and all materials featuring this duo capable of seemingly infinite levels of self-promotion, you wouldn't be here. So now, we're going to lay out each dude's chicken side hustle, and determine which one actually has the brighter future.
It's the Big Shaqtus vs the Crown Prince of Flavortown. Donkey Sauce vs Diesel. Bald vs Frosted.
And everybody wins.