10 Fantastic Uses for Jimmy John's Day-Old Bread

Jimmy John's
Facebook/Jimmy John's

Jimmy John's has come a long way since its days slinging inexpensive subs on college campuses. But like your old college buddy who still wears body paint and shotguns tallboys, there are some things Jimmy John's thankfully refuses to change in adulthood: It's still obsessed with bikes, it still makes its club sandwiches with lightning speed, and it still sells day-old loaves of bread for a scant 50 cents. That day-old bread's great on its own, but it's even better if you get creative. Here are 10 incredible things you can do with a half a buck's worth of rapidly expiring bread from Jimmy John's. 

Flickr/libsciterp

Win the brunch party by making a strata

To the uninitiated, a strata is a baked egg dish that's kind of like a frittata and a quiche had a baby they were both a little disappointed with, but still loved out of obligation. Making one involves putting a bunch of chopped-up bread cubes and whatever else you like in a scramble in a casserole dish, then covering it in an egg/cream mixture and baking. People tend to be impressed when you serve it, despite it being composed of expired bread and whatever you found in your fridge that seemed compatible with breakfast tastes.

Carbo-load with an Italian burrito

Hollow the loaf out, stuff it with spaghetti and meatballs, and you’ll be ready for that tomorrow’s track meet in no time! “Eat pasta, run fasta,” my coach used to say at pre-meet banquets. But what he didn’t say was “stuffing your gullet full of pasta stuffed into a two-food baguette is going to have serious health consequences when you quit the team, start smoking, and refuse to exercise.” Maybe because it didn’t rhyme? So, um, thanks for nothing, Mr. Hackney. (Totally worth it.)

Flickr/Krissa Corbett Cavouras

Get fancy with a panzanella

Oh, you think you're better than us if your mom skipped French bread pizza and went to this Tuscan-style stale-bread salad loaded with tomatoes after school? Actually, you probably are. Or at least your mom is. And if you happen to have some leftover salami from an uneaten Italian Night Club, you're really winning at the leftover sub chain game. But really losing in the not over-ordering game.

Make some croutons

Hey, you're gonna need something to make your salad less healthy, so might as well get to cutting, oiling, and seasoning that baguette. Or just eat a bowl of croutons. That's healthy too, right?

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

Build a slightly less delicious sandwich

It won't be as good as a fresh sub, but hey, maybe if you use some Boar's Head it will even out?

Fire up an old-school French bread pizza

A classic of school lunches and lazy parents everywhere, all you need for a pizza party is some sauce, some cheese, and some lowered expectations.

Flickr/Jessica and Lon Binder

Realize you're out of marinara and settle for garlic bread

See above, but lazier. Wow, this is all pretty basic. We can do better...

Sneak booze into a concert

Yeah, you’ll need a skinny bottle of booze, but a hollowed-out Jimmy John’s loaf is perfect for concealing hooch into that amphitheater. You can even use it as a koozie.

Flickr/Matt Huff

Use it as a weapon while LARPing, then eat it

Fact: A day-old loaf of Jimmy Johns bread is basically the same consistency as the sword your weird cousin uses to beat the shit out of other nerds in the park every Sunday, making these loaves perfect for a little simulated medieval combat. And because all that battle works up an appetite, you can eat it afterward, provided you you’re cool with picking the hair of a slain dwarf lord out of it. But be careful, for as Chaucer said, a day-old loaf is ideal for playful combat. A two-day-old loaf can be lethal as a bludgeon.

Buy every loaf, then give it to homeless people

I mean, that’s probably what they should do with them anyway, right?

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Andy Kryza was just kidding about that track thing, mom. Follow him to minimal exercise @apkryza
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