Pier 45 at Fisherman’s Wharf
Since you’re going to Fisherman’s Wharf to see the sea lions and eat clam chowder in a bread bowl, you might as well also stop by this antique, coin-operated arcade. There are love testers, player pianos, dioramas, old school photo booths, and, our favorite: peep show booths. Be sure to wrestle with the Arm Wrestler, get your fortune told by a grandmother, and stay far away from Laughing Sal if you get creeped out easily.
You have to experience this musical revue to really understand it, but all you need to tell your guest is that it has tons of hilarious pop culture references, lots of singing, outrageous costumes, gigantic hats (that grow!), and that you can drink during it.