Julio Jones is a mutant
The dude is stretchy like a Gumby doll on the field. He will catch all the balls thrown to him, run like Forest, and score numerous touchdowns.
Alex Mack and Julio Jones are only kind of injured
Just FYI, Mack injured his lower left leg and Julio sprained a damn toe. Both are expected to play. Everything’s fine! Everything’s fine.
Know Vic Beasley. Understand he is a beast.
Our star linebacker is All-Pro thanks to his 15.5 sacks that led the league during the regular season. He’s obviously not playing the Pro Bowl but I think he’s forgiven. He will probably floor Tom Brady at least once during the game. Brady deserves it.
We might have the inside scoop on the Pats
Our GM Thomas Dimitroff worked in the Patriots’ front office from 2002 to 2007, and as you may know they won a couple championships in that time. And we know how New England gets down with the scandals, so at least we should be somewhat prepared for whatever jankiness might come. Hell, we might even have our own...