We Went Looking for the World's Freakiest Countries

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Sure, you won the geography bee in seventh grade because you were the only American in the room who knew there wasn't an Old Zealand. But we've got some geographic knowledge you can use: which countries are the freakiest between the sheets.

Different countries have their own sexual tastes, mores, and definitions of what's normal. So go do as the Romans do -- in the filthiest-minded countries of the whole damn world.

Most porn-watchers

Of all the kinks to measure, this might be the easiest. Trend website ExtremeTech analyzed data from Google to determine Iraq and Egypt are the two countries with the highest rate of porn-viewing. If this raises an eyebrow for you, it should: These are two of the most socially conservative nations in the world, where women aren't allowed to go out in public showing their necks.

By another definition (countries that had the longest average session per visit to a porn site), conservative countries still came in at the top with Kuwait and Singapore ruling the rankings.

Most cheaters

Data-mining from Match.com and TheRichest uncovered the countries where the most adults have committed… adultery. You might be thinking of France, but the Country of Love came in fifth place. The winner was actually Thailand, with 56% (that's right, most of) the adults having cheated on a spouse at least once. Denmark and Germany came in second and third, with 46% and 45%, respectively.
 

Biggest spankers and BDSMers

Whiplr bills itself as "Tinder for Kinksters," and got downloaded a whopping 120,000 times during its first three months. This already proves that way more people are into handcuffs and schoolgirl skirts than they are letting on. It also gives them statistically significant sample sizes based on who's looking for what. According to its own analysis, the US has the most people into BDSM pursuits per capita -- 70% of searches. For spanking specifically, the title went to the UK. The Brits searched for spanking more than any other country, and more than any other kink within its own borders.

Having the most sex

Dirty can mean kinky, but it can also just mean the most amorous in general. There are a couple of ways to measure this, so we looked into both. In terms of raw numbers, the country that has the most sex is Greece. Those democratic horndogs clock in at 164 sexual interactions per person, per year according to a survey run by an international condom manufacturer. That's almost 20 times more annually than the second-place Brazil, and more than 20 more times than Russia and Poland, tied for third and fourth.

In terms of the nationality most likely to have sex on a first date, that's been Australia for decades, currently reporting at 13% of the population putting it out before their first kiss goodbye.

Dirtiest talkers

That Whiplr survey found that Germans were the most into talking dirty to each other, which we found strange for two reasons. If you look at German porn, you would assume they were the kings of poop and bondage (maybe fighting Japan for either title), but nope. They like the dirty talk. Second, have you ever heard somebody speak German? It's about as erotic as stubbing your toe.

We found no data on which country had the most toe-stubbing fetishists.

Most likely to play dress-up

Two countries go above and beyond in terms of dirty dress-up play. Italy bought the most kink-related clothing like bondage outfits and slave collars; while the Dutch were most likely to prefer leather or latex wear for bedroom shenanigans.

Going to the most extreme sexual dress-up, a Reddit user built a heat map of the furry forum and social media users around the world. According to his findings, the world capital of furrydom is Germany by an enormous margin. Where other locales have dots of furry populations in predictable spots (for example, LA and Seattle in the US), Germany is one white-hot sun of animal-themed sexy playtime aficionados.

A few oddly specific kinks by country

A cross-reading of the studies informing this article also gave us a few tidbits that didn't really fit a category, but are worth mentioning. For example:

Brazil has the largest number of kinksters reporting odor-related fetishes.

Vatican City is second only to Rome for Whiplr users in Italy.

Australia has the largest number of "yes" answers to the question "Do you have a pair of handcuffs on the bedside table?"

More than half of Canadians say they enjoy dominant/submissive relationships.

And the French were the most likely to claim they're only curious about certain kinks; not active practitioners.

Yeah, OK.

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Jason Brick is a voracious reader, heroic drinker, and super-cool dad (not necessarily in that order of importance). When not testing the theoretical limits of coolness, he practices martial arts so he can beat people up for teasing him about how much he likes playing Dungeons & Dragons. Find out more at BrickCommaJason.com.
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