Food & Drink

Safely heat your meat(tube)

The only things men are more enchanted by than grilling...are genitals! Bringing them together, Roast My Weenie.A side venture of Arlington stamped-steel fastener maker Die Co, Inc, their original brilliantly phallic cooker rose up after the owner received a crude welded nuts/bolts/wire mesh mockup from a business buddy; some Die employees cleaned up the design on AutoCAD, and, hey, that's how fortunes are made. The piece is made from laser-cut stainless steel with outstretched arms for balance (also good for veggie spearing) and a head angled down in a "damn, look at the size of that thing" gaze; base options include word/phrase/symbol customization, plus nearly 50 phrases involving sports mascots, etc, and icons like the Cowboys' star and NASCAR driver numbers, giving you two Jimmy Johnsons to make johnson jokes about. Weiner compatriots include "Marsha Mello" (stick chick w/ skewer rack), the two-piece Dog Breed Roaster (split silhouettes of your choice of purebred w/ the hot dog as torso), and the terrifying, multi-pronged Cthulhu Roaster, named for "Call of the Cthulhu", the H.P. Lovecraft story Metallica honored with the instrumental "Call of the Ktulu", because that band's all about K-icking ass and taking H's. Weenie also sells a line of titillating tees and aprons ("All the Grills Want My..."; "The Weenie Man" w/ dancing dog), and are unleashing animal-shaped racks for kids at the site FunWithFrank.com -- which sounds dirty, too, but only because the third thing men are enchanted by is making things gross even when they're not.