Own

Southern Tide

South Carolina's always played second fiddle to its Northern brother -- "I see your Michael Jordan, and raise you a Steve Taneyhill" just doesn't win many barroom arguments. Proving they're at least superior in conservative casual wear, Southern Tide

From a USC pre-med dropout who'd never studied fashion or the business of selling it, Tide's a streamlined collection that belies its high-minded mission of quality with a mirthful spirit best repped by its logo: a Skipjack Tuna, a sartorial newcomer previously only used to dress up toasted bagels. The anchor is True-Vent Micro Pique (TM!) polos, breathable and extremely stretchy, with double-reinforced seams, a brushed cotton interior, and long split tail w/ durable herringbone taping, available in 21 evocative solids (ocean blue, Augusta green, chianti...); drop an extra $5.50 for stripes (dark pink, leaf green, true blue...), or $4.50 for the husky XXXL -- plus $450 extra if your seat-swallowing ass plans on wearing it on an airplane. Combining formality with summery goofing off are Tide's 100% silk, wool-lined patterned ties, like the dark blue, light blue, or green Clam Jam (clams playing guitar), Shrimp 'n Grits (yellow, purple, light blue, or green, w/ pink shrimp reclining in grit-tub), and the blue or pink Play With Dogs: happy tan pups all looking expectantly for you to roughhouse with them, but you won't, because this is 100% silk

Other goods: the cotton Skipjack Hat (red, white, or nautical, w/ adjustable strap) and the new Intracoastal Waterway-inspired khaki Channel Marker shorts, with navigational instructions on the inside pocket -- which you can use to find the party coursing out the back of Steve Taneyhill's helmet.