When you just can't make a choice between two awesome things, you should try combining them, because it's not like anyone else was about to come out with a Laserdisc player that doubles as a TurboGrafx 16. Hello, hi-def Bonk! Topping even that, almost: The MXB Shocker
Made exactly where you expected -- Duluth! -- the miles-beyond-awesome Shocker is a high-torque, aluminum-wheeled electric "Motocrossboard" (basically a mutant snowboard/ scooter) engineered by a hardcore boarder to turn and maneuver easily by shifting weight from your heels to your toes, although you've gotta put your shoes through the X-ray these days, so security's just gonna find it anyway. The beautiful beast is crafted from 4130 chromoly steel tubing, is equipped with bindings, fully adjustable suspension, disc brakes, a rechargeable battery, and a hand-held, wire-connected throttle/brake to control speed, which ranges from 18mph to 35mph depending upon terrain and "rider weight and ability", which were basically inversely proportional for J.R. Optional additions include a speedometer, a chrome frame, and an "unlock controller" that ups the speed/power; daredevils should opt for the MOTO-XC, whose optional Continuously Variable Transmission makes it more stable the faster it goes, letting it hit up to 60mph without wobbling, so it's got your Fiero beat already
The beautiful geniuses behind it all are planning racing and freestyle riding exhibitions an hour east of ATL, along with "Camp MXB", at which they'll teach you how to ride and do tricks. Included in your stay's lodging, meals, protective gear, a DVD of you endangering yourself, and of course, rental of the Shocker -- which, interpreted differently, is yet another combination of two awesome things.