Time to lose the futon
When discussing dumps, the first thing to pop into one's head is the place where people dispose of trash, and things two through four are truck. Making number five sweet home furnishings, The Dump
Opening tomorrow, The Dump's a weekend-only furniture warehouse that keeps overhead low so they can sell you top-quality, never-before-owned stuff for up to 70% off, including one-of-a-kind prototypes, factory sell-outs, overstocks, and showroom-model couches, which're way more plush and cushy than runway-model couches. Fill your crib with dark leather Franklin recliners and matching couches, modern and classic wooden bed sets by Fairmont Design, handmade mattresses by Aireloom, antique & exotic items like oversized-chopsticks-esque Chinese wall art, reclaimed teak desks, and stained-brown chests of drawers, much like the ones you'll store inside them. Unique-er items include a hand-carved maple bench and matching shelf unit, and several couch sets made by independent designers and given nicknames to match their personalities, like the cowboy-meets-Aztec-patterned "John Wayne", the curvy, tall-backed, white "Alice In Wonderland", and a purple velvet sectional they call "Prince" -- it's over 50% off the retail price of $8k, but you'll still party on it like it was $1,999
Dump'll be hosting twice-annual invite-only sales for previous customers, plus offering special deals on holidays; if the crazy, crazy savings become mentally overwhelming, grab a seat at their community table in the back for gratis coffee -- but be sure to limit yourself, or number six will be number two, and not "truck".