Llama Caddy

There're only so many things you can do to really spice up a round of golf, like laying some money down, wearing a silly pair of pants, or drinking until the idea of pants in general seems silly. Or some llamas, from Llama Caddy.

Set up in NC by a turfgrass management company's visionary owner, LC's a caddy company that throws out old plaid-clad dudes named Tug and swaps in the most obvious replacement: loveable llamas, links sidekicks that'll dutifully tote your clubs, offer companionship, and quietly hum their llama hum when you ask for yardage estimates. For now, you'll have to roll up to Sherwood Forest Golf Course or Valley Club in Brevard, NC, to rent a pair of the camelids for $80, each of which will haul two bags on their backs (using a custom-made harness), with the help of a handler to guide them along and make sure they follow their llama training, like being quiet and still when you're taking your shots, and only relieving themselves in potty areas designated for their refuse, aka, "llama beans", which you hated as a kid and still haven't quite come around on. Each of the 11 llama-caddies has been hand-selected for favorable characteristics (e.g., no spitting at you), and granted a moniker to match its personality, including "Lightning", who's white, and known as the nicest (gets along famously with hug-happy kids); the deer-resembling "Vision"; the once-stubborn, now highly congenial "U-Da Man"; the 250lb, gunmetal-hued "Magnum"; the horse-like "X-Man"; and the black, 400lb "Legend", considered the "alpha llama", probably because he's the best at flip cup and banging freshmen.

LC's currently seeking a sister course someplace in the southeast where the weather is more comfortable for their beloved beasts, such as TN, FL, or even here in GA, where you can spice the hell out of your golf until you're forced to drunkenly flee on llama-back, scanning the course for your knickers.