There're certain things only the elite used to get, like books, doctors, and fat. Finally hooking up good people like yourself, The Palace at Playa Grande.
Formerly a private getaway in the Dominican Republic for the rich y famous, The Palace's a three-story, casbah-styled luxury villa now redone and open to the public, featuring fancy-people amenities, underwater activities, and golfing on a coastline-winding course designed by world-renowned Robert Trent Jones Sr., who actually cried when tapped as architect, but only because he wanted to be Morpheus. The no longer class-/wealth-restricted fun includes umbrella-topped libations delivered to you all day long as an executive private chef prepares three meals a day precisely to your liking; you can also take advantage of the private-access beach (exceedingly rare for the DR), or hop a 50-foot boat to Samana Bay to watch whales flippering, tail lobbing, breaching, and possibly even singing their courting song, presumably My Hump(back)s. You can also partake in standard-er activities like watersports (snorkeling, scuba diving, deep sea barracuda fishing...), and land action like mountain biking, zip lining, equestrian, and a four-hour ATV excursion through local farms, villages, and mountains, because eventually, everyone gets tired of enraging the proletariat by zooming through their villages and farms.
There's even a badass all-inclusive hookup for the grand opening, $300 off rack plus ground transport from the airport, though if you're feeling really baller, charter a chopper to The Palace's helipad -- do so, and the only thing standing between you and a truly elite life is a name like Jan-Michael Vincent.