Otis James

Despite there being so damn many of them, it can actually be tough to find a great tie, which is why Bud Selig just makes one whenever he wants. Also making them, with your help, Otis James

Nashville-livin' OJ hand-crafts custom six-fold (ie, liner-less) neckties in designs schemed up by lil ol' you (then paints both his and your name, or any message you want, on their labels) from the comfort of his one-room studio using an old Singer, proof that Rod Stewart is still good for something. Shoot Otis an email w/ the basics of what you want (color, patterns, width, texture...), and he'll send images of your options w/ descriptions of the fabric before doing next-level hyper-custom stuff like hand-sewn stripes and painting the fabric; you can even send him any fabric you want tie-ized, which he says will "make the process much faster" -- great news, as folks're realllllly getting impatient for that new Memphis Bleek album. He'll accept printed fabric, but prefers working w/ silk, wool, or linen sourced from small batches, upping the texture/quality from most store-bought ties, and helping him make funkier designs that're "instantly recognizable as being a little different", because he heard those're the kind of strokes that rule the world

You can also hire him for bowties, as well as hand-crafted wool/linen/cotton/whatever berets, fedoras, and caps. In a couple weeks, he'll have a half-dozen ties for sale on his online shop that you can have shipped immediately, ensuring you look good at the press conference, cause Bud's gonna call the game any second now.