Mascots aren't always the likeliest of creatures: US News #1 ranked (and Daily Beast "10th Druggiest") Williams College trots out the Purple Cow, while Scottsdale Community College rallies behind the Fighting Artichokes -- which to be fair, do have heart, not to mention 22% daily value of folate. For homegrown clothing with an odd but ultimately fitting mascot, try on Howler Brothers. HB's a line of fashionable, feature-heavy shirts for the active dude, conceived by a lawyer/architect team whose bromance CV includes coastal fly-fishing, 10+ years playing together in a band, and a history of surfing trips to Costa Rica, whose monkeys' insane screeching is "a constant reminder that you're in a good place", hence the Howler name (for those who assumed they were inspired by the Beat poem: what decent gear company would leave you starving hysterical naked?). Torso armor starts with a classic white or inkwell blue polo with coconut buttons, the ultra-light polyester Magic Mesh polo with red sash stripe, a graphite/Hill Country plaid button-down with micro-fiber sunglass cleaner lining the front pocket, and the quick-drying Loggerhead Longsleeve boasting sunglass stash pocket and SPF-45 protection, so you never have to worry about your Earth, Wind & Fire "Boogie Wonderland" single ever scratching again. HB also supplies basics including ultra-soft ring-spun cotton tees printed with water-based ink designs like a longboarding ocean scene, the state of TX skewered by a surfboard, and a wide-mouth bass with peacock tail-feathers, flair sure to attract your dream woman, though ultimately she'll end up with her basshole ex. There's also a selection of miscellany from trucker caps to monkey-embossed belt buckles, giving you something fancy to unbuckle before artfully choking the Purple Cow.