Because ordering cow from the menu's for sheep, Austin's most notorious grillmasters are making their most gluttonous off-menu meatwiches available especially for Thrillist readers. The hefty lineup:
Your Mom's: The Buford T. Justice
Named for Jackie Gleason's greatest role, this 1/2lber is stuffed with corn, mashed potatoes, and cheddar, then battered & deep-fried, smothered in gravy, and served between two pieces of TX toast, sure to punch your momma in the mouth.
Longhorn Po'Boys: The Yippie Kay-Yay
A favorite of the manager, the Yippie is a half burger/half reuben mutant, topped with pastrami & kraut and drowned in Russian Dressing. As for the Bruce Willis reference...you'll definitely be dying hard.
Flying Carpet: The Big Abdou
Shouting out the trailer's owner, the Big A is a heap of Moroccan beef inside a flat-bread pita topped with grilled eggplant, a fried egg, tomato sauce, and Belgian-style pommes frites, guaranteeing you'll lose the Battle of the Bulge.
Chupacabra: The Blasphemy Burger
Originally concocted for the bouncers at Treasure Island, the Blasphemy is one QP of farm-raised goat and another of ground Angus, topped with chipotle pimento, two slices of bacon, cheddar, pulled pork, and pineapple pico de gallo, which unlike Vincent pico de Gallo won't put an alleged stunt-penis on you.
Jackalope: Buffalo Chicken Cordon Bleu Burger
Often devoured by the staff, this monster slaps three pieces of bacon, bleu cheese, spicy buffalo sauce, lettuce & onion between two fried chicken breasts. Oh, and they also slide in a burger patty, thus making the Double Down look like a cowardly bet.
Old School BBQ and Grill: The Bone Me Burger
Step up to the bus, ask for the burger, then politely add that you'd like them to "bone you", and they'll skewer their normal Angus choice heart-attack with two smoked pork spare ribs. Unless they're more attracted to your friend.
Max's Wine Dive: The Fire in the Hole Burger
This $25 coma-inducer buries Heartbrand Texas Akaushi/Niman Ranch meat with house-made pickled 'penos, applewood smoked bacon, tomato, habanero salsa, cilantro, grilled onion, melted cheddar, and a fried egg, then sides it with TX Prairie Fire Frito Chili Pie. Turning down this number would simply be irrational.
Along Came a Slider: The Kevin Costner
The arachnoid-themed trailer is whipping up locally-raised Thunderheart bison stuffed with hot hatch chiles and organic cream cheese between a New World Bakery bun, adding lettuce/tomato/red onion, and drizzling it with smoke-dried tomato aioli -- after this, not even wolves'll dance with you. Buenos dias, Fat-Dango.