Whether he's playing 8 shows at SXSW, or doing motivational speaking on the university circuit, Andrew W.K. is always partying. Here, rock's ultimate rager gets wet on the absolute essentials of epic throwing-down: pinball, goats, and snickerdoodles.
Chuck E. Cheese or Discovery Zone? I've never been to Discovery Zone, so gotta go with Chuck E. Cheese. I loved the animatronics, and was always fascinated when they were turned off, when you could look behind the curtain and see them frozen in darkness.
Skee Ball or Ball Pit? Skee Ball. The ball pit is very scary and intense -- one time there was all this wetness in the pit, puddles of spit...Skee ball is a more sterile and fun way to play.
Petting Zoos or Moon Bounces? Petting zoos. Moon bounces are a great concept, but I never liked participating. Animals I really like because you're dealing with another living being and you can see in its eyes. The goats are so friendly. A great combination of being gentle and interested in you. They'll usually try to eat your clothes or hand.
Silly String or Confetti? You have more control with Silly String: you can aim it, direct it, specifically shoot it in someone's eye. Confetti is at the mercy of the wind, who knows how it's gonna fall.
Earning the nickname Pee Pee Pants, or Having kids claim you've earned the nickname Poopie Pants, even though no pants were pooped? This is really like choosing between two ways of being killed. I guess Pee Pee Pants, it's lighter hearted and people aren't as freaked out by urine as they are with feces.
Air Hockey or Pinball? Pinball was my favorite thing in the world growing up. There was this incredible chain in Ann Arbor called Pinball Pete's; they had like 4 locations in a square mile radius, wherever I was there was one down the street. (Here Andrew W.K. goes on a long, beautiful discourse on the Twilight Zone pinball machine -- damn, Andrew W.K. knows him some pinball.)
Pin the Tail on the Donkey, or Bashing a pinata? I used to get freaked out by blindfold games. There's something humiliating...there's all the laughter, you want to do well, and you don't know what's going on. I guess the pinata, because at least it explodes and there's candy and prizes.
Pin the tail on the donkey, or Pin the tail on Don Ki, the foreign exchange student your mom made you invite? Donkey. I'd never want to hurt someone physically. Emotionally that's different -- I liked psychological teasing, but stabbing someone, not my thing.
Slow dancing awkwardly or Standing in the corner ripping on awkward slow dancers? Slow dancing awkwardly. I never danced until my mom told me "you have to dance once, even if you never do it again". I finally tried and I was doing all these dances I'd seen in music videos. The next day I was so sore, from some half-assed breakdancing stuff. But I was so proud that I'd actually danced, even though people laughed and thought the songs I asked the DJ to play were stupid -- I asked for Dee-Lite, "Groove is in the Heart".
Trick Candles, or... Trick Candles? Trick candles, you can't beat 'em, especially with a little kid. "Come on, blow them out. Try a little harder, you've gotta really blow on the candles!" "I am! I am!" Also, itching powder is really brutal. You drop it in someone's bed, they get a full body rash. I never used it on anyone, but I did own a package.
Sega or Nintendo? I played both quite a bit at friends' houses, but I never owned them. I rented Sega a few times though, and loved the Altered Beast audio. "Rise from your grave". "Power... p.p.p.power up!"
Sweet 16 or Quinceanera? Quinceanera -- the sooner the better, right?