Arnold once said "I just use my muscles as a conversation piece, like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd Street" -- but what if you suddenly need to kill that cheetah, with your bare hands? Giving you the power to do so, SicFitness
Manned by eight trainers who've cut their teeth with Crossfit, Sic's a hardcore practical-strength gym built out of a converted garage where the floor's littered with huge-ifying equipment both traditional and non-, and roll-up doors create a natural breezeway (as opposed to a Brees Way, because that's trademarked. No? Buy that!). Their "Garage Gym Rx" workout starts with aerobic warm-ups including sprinting duck-walks, frog-jumps, and other animal-mimicking moves, then starts in on strengthening wrists, elbows, and forearms Olympic gymnast-style via full-body muscle-ups on rafter-hanging overhead rings; next it's on to competitive lifts like the Deadlift, the Snatch, and the Clean & Jerk, the latter two of which should never be Googled in tandem. To enhance metabolic conditioning and all-around strength they also bring in awkward-grip objects like weighted PVC-pipe, medicine balls, and weight-sleds, plus there's giant tire-flipping and keg throwing, helping correct years spent only keg-standing
Until you're ready to torture yourself on your own, Sic offers one-on-one training sessions, so you'll learn the proper form for every exercise, and stop being such a cheet-ah.