Are you having sex this weekend?

Editor's Note: Lobster rolls are the king of all summer foods (shut up, watermelon slices), which is why we sent our very own Andrew Zimmer to try and figure out what the Perfect Lobster Roll is, where it is, or if it’s totally a figment of our nostalgia-soaked collective unconscious.

Editor's Note: Lobster rolls are the king of all summer foods (shut up, watermelon slices), which is why we sent our very own Andrew Zimmer on a summer-long quest to try and figure out what the Perfect Lobster Roll is, where it is, or if it’s totally a figment of our nostalgia-soaked collective unconscious.

Editor's Note: Lobster rolls are the king of all summer foods (shut up, watermelon slices), which is why we sent our very own Andrew Zimmer to try and figure out what the Perfect Lobster Roll is, where it is, or if it’s totally a figment of our nostalgia-soaked collective unconscious.

Editor's Note: Lobster rolls are the king of all summer foods (shut up, watermelon slices), which is why we sent our very own Andrew Zimmer to try and figure out what the Perfect Lobster Roll is, where it is, or if it’s totally a figment of our nostalgia-soaked collective unconscious.

A highly dangerous spider drops down on your hand while you turn off your lamp, killing you.

The uncontrollable urge to grill things, all the recently transplanted bros wearing “USA, Back to Back World War Champs” tanks, the mad rush to find somewhere, anywhere at all to watch the fireworks (“Bob’s got roof access right?

If you make it through this entire summer without consuming at least one lobster roll, regardless of how many giant Slip 'N Slides you throw yourself down, your summer will have been a failure.

You know what's better during the summer in NYC?

You’re going to drink this summer, probably more than a little, so why not make a game out of it that doesn’t involve floor-dirty ping-pong balls?

There’s a solid chance you’ve taken down at least a dozen dumplings on a Sunday afternoon with zero prompting or reason, so we’re fully expecting you to launch yourself into this: the NYC Chinatown Dim Sum Challenge.