OK, you’re gonna go to Disneyland for sure, but while you’re there, why suffer through cafeteria dreck aimed at families on budgets when you could be downing spiced-up lobster rolls and tonsil-slapping gumbo in the shade of the Haunted Mansion?

From a distance, Orange County can easily seem like the world's largest Living Spaces outlet, an indistinguishable glob of climate-controlled suburbia inhabited by evangelical neocons whose not-so-rich kids in yesterday's fashions patrol not-so-mean streets on hands-free Segways.

Maleficent. Cruella. Scar. Those are fake Disney villains.

You might think you've done Disneyland/California Adventure as well as anyone could possibly do it, from main gate to backstage -- but, well, you’d be wrong.

At some point, you're going to have friends or family come in from other cities to visit, and they’re going to ask you to show them around “The OC.”