James Chrisman’s Recent Articles
Man Spins Iguana Over His Head and Throws It at Restaurant Manager, Is Arrested
We really can't stress this enough: Don't throw iguanas at people. It's bad for the person you're attacking, it's bad for you, and above all, it's bad for the iguana. You wouldn't think we'd have to say this. And yet, we do.
Hemp-Flavored Four Loko Now Exists Whether You Like It or Not
We live in a brave new world, folks, a world in which Carl's Jr., of all places, is serving CBD hamburgers. Sorry, did we say brave? We meant terrifying. Because this is also a world in which hemp-flavored Four Loko exists.
On 4/20, Carl's Jr. Is Unleashing a CBD-Infused Burger for $4.20
What you do on April 20 is between you, your closest friends, and possibly local law enforcement. But we'd like to take a second to inform you that on that day, Carl's Jr. will be serving a CBD burger with French fries on it.
Apr 11, 2019
Taco Bell Is Giving Out Free Breakfast Burritos for the Next Month
Despite the whole every-dish-being-the-same-three-ingredients-rearranged thing, Taco Bell can be so many things to so many people. It can somehow be healthy? It can even be breakfast. And it's always cheap. Sometimes, it can even be free...
These Are the Most (and Least) Diverse Cities in the U.S.
There's a real correlation between a place being extremely boring and it lacking diversity. On top of that, there's the general reduction in the richness of human experience to consider, but we don't really have time to get into right now...
Rowdy Fans at NCAA Finals Force Security to Confiscate Tortillas
When you're watching the athletes have so much fun throwing things at a sporting event, it can be tempting to join in on the fun. But, trust us, you're really not supposed to do that. Whether it's a catfish or a tortilla, it's really disruptive.
Apr 9, 2019
Heinz's Condiment Rampage Continues With Cadbury Creme Egg-Flavored Mayonnaise
Maybe someone should go check on Heinz. Yes, it's been a strange few months of increasingly bizarre product releases, but this latest one is somehow ever stranger. First, there was Mayochup. Then Mayocue and Mayomust. And last of all (so we thought), came Kranch.
Apr 8, 2019