Pete Cottell is a writer and barista who’s been making fun of Portland since he emigrated here from Ohio in 2013. Having spent over a year living in a van in Southeast Portland, Pete is an expert on the no-nonsense lifestyle that’s light on possessions and heavy on gastronomic indulgences. When he’s not decaffing obnoxious customers at his coffee shop job, he can be found scouring Portland for haute vans, cooling off on the Hawthorne Boat Dock with a can of La Croix, and moshing enthusiastically (and raising the median age by a few years) at an emo/pop punk show. His favorite burger is the Galley Boy at Swenson’s Drive-In in his hometown of Akron, Ohio, and he's certain no other burger comes even remotely close. He’s an ardent supporter of Cleveland sports and went to the same high school as Lebron James, but the two had a falling out over a game of H.O.R.S.E. gone wrong and haven’t spoken since.