1) Sleeping with the prostitutes.

Burrito giant Chipotle just sent shockwaves through the fast-casual landscape with the announcement that, as of June of this year, they would no longer be selling... wait for it... FREAKING BURRITOS.

Kale is hot.

Calm down, we just pranked you.

Yesterday, a photo of an orange surfaced on MySpace that has shaken the world to its core, forcing everyone in its havoc-wreaking path to question literally everything in their lives.

History is littered with classic combos.

There are certain foods you eat on 4/20, and then there are certain other foods you simply forget to eat on 4/20, because you also forget to leave your house and do things, like purchase and subsequently consume food.

There are at least infinity beers in this country of ours, and someone likes every single one of them.

Jay Z is not the kind of man who's ever had a cigar shortage, but now you can avoid having a scarcity of stogies Jigga himself had a hand in creating.

Did you know that wine used to make people go crazy?

Recently, Travel and Leisure published a very confused article in which it polled its readers on which cities they thought were the best-looking, and in an astounding show of poor judgement, they chose backwater no-names like San Francisco, Providence, and Nashville as the top three hottest, with even Chicago -- CHICAGO!

Most sit-down chain restaurants aren't considered to house the hautest of cuisine, but you've been to them, and you've devoured the skillet queso dip, and only the most foolish of you have felt ashamed.