Water your 'stache with booze
Celebrate a charitable excuse to put down your razor at the most mustachioed joint in town: Handlebar, who's hosting a ton of lady-tickling events benefiting cancer research, and unveiling an entirely new Winter menu that'll warm your soul more than any patch
The Events: Thursdays, Dewars is pouring specially priced gingery cocktails and bringing in a growth-tracking photo booth, and on the last Thu the bar'll hand out awards for categories like the hopefully ironic "Most Pedophile-like". On Wednesdays, SoCo'll be blanketing you in comp drinks, and after the well runs dry they'll donate purchases towards the cause. Throwing the proceedings a real curve ball, they're also flying in Cy Young-winning lip-hair legend Rollie Fingers for a signing
The Drinks: The Winter menu twists classics into novel whisker-wetters like the Interracial (Absolut vanilla, Adult Chocolate Milk, Kahlua, Frangelico), the Paul Bunyun (maple whiskey, amaretto, chocolate, orange bitters), and the rhubarb-bittered Mustaccherac
The Schwag: For the Rollie event they'll be giving away free baseballs. Much more weirdly, they're also releasing a totally awkward calendar of mustachioed dudes covered in less and less clothing the bigger their bodies are -- so while you might be working for charity, your eyes'll receive no relief.