Because someone needed to inject video games with the excitement Lana del Rey stole from them, two bros have teamed up to give you Emporium Arcade Bar, packed with nearly 40 vintage cabinet games set to cost only a quarter, and all clustered around a custom-built bar showcasing 24 crafty handles, or 1000 less than Richard "The Richmeister" Laymer could give you. To help limit your decision-making process, we've even gone and figured out exactly what game you should be playing based on the brew you order, so if you find yourself drinking a...
Goose Island, you should probably hit up Duck Hunt to simultaneously conquer some birds and your thirst. Talk about killing two birds with one stone!
Victory, you might as well test your skills against the booziest brawler of all: Punch Out's Soda Popinski.
Revolution, then remember Mick Jagger's words: if the time is right for a palace revolution, you're a Street Fighter man.
Dogfish Head, go ahead and
shoot your insolent dog in Duck Hunt stomp on some of the weird dogfish in Super Mario Bros. There were weird dogfish in that game, right?
Two Brothers, double down with some Double Dragon.
Brooklyn, hold off on destroying yourself until you've wrecked a few cities in Rampage.
Founders, seek out the Jebediah Springfield statue in The Simpsons.
Smuttynose, you should... um... does Ms. Pac-Man have a nose? Whatever, she's tarted up and smutty-looking.
And if you're thinking you need something a little stronger, they're stocking 50-plus bottles of whiskey, though don't hit 'em so hard you end up trying to SmashTV.