Like D&B, only somehow even sweeter

The guys behind Austin's Kung Fu Saloon have brought their boozy, electronic dojo up I35! Grasshopper your way to Uptown tonight for

Games: They've got everything from free skee- and foosball to Giant Jenga, plus 20 arcade standups including Street Fighter II, Tron, Double Dragon, and Centipede -- a game where losing leaves an awful taste in your mouth

Booze: 24 taps (from Real Ale Phoenixx Double ESB to Maredsous 8...) support a sake bomb menu dropping hits like DICKson (raspberry sake in Live Oak), Longhorne (Pearl sake/Lone Star/splash of OJ), and the Finish Him, a knockout combo that involves plunking rice wine into Irish cream-topped Guinness, followed by randomly hitting buttons... on your phone, until your ex texts back and calls you a DICK, son

Coronaries: Start off with Sriracha ranch-drenched cheeseburger egg rolls or wonton mozz sticks, then step up to hooch-absorbing sammies like the totally-what-it-sounds-like Jalapeno Popper Grilled Cheese, and The Dank (that's it above; click here to share that glorious image with friends/enemies): twin cheese-/jalapeno-stuffed patties loaded down w/ bacon, onion rings & more cheese, with two grilled cheese sandwiches serving as buns -- so despite the martial artsy name, it's less Carradine, and more Paula Deen.