Any attempt to deny your curiosity about this would be in vein. In bulbous, purple vein. Wynkoop's Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout is here, but it was never actually meant to exist. Originally the subject of a short, faux documentary that the much-loved brewery released on April Fool's Day, it wasn't until the overwhelming response from customers and other brewers that they decided to go balls
out in and actually brew the damn thing. Getting balls deep in the beer, they started with CO-grown malts/sea salt/roasted barley, then chucked in 25lbs of mouthwatering testes (sliced & roasted, of course) into the beer mash, which yielded just eight barrels of a brew with 7% ABV and an impressive "3 BPB (balls per barrel)". It looks like a typical stout when poured into a pint glass (so feel free trick your friends into drinking it!), and a mouthful of bull doesn't taste as unpleasant as you might imagine when balanced with flavors like "chocolate syrup, Kahlua, espresso, alcohol, and a savory umami", plus a finish that's "dry" and has a "fast-fading hop bite". Since there's not much of the precious nut nectar, expect it not to last long at its taproom debut next Monday at 4p. And while it'll also be served at their Great American Beer Festival table, you may want to save yourself a trip and just kill two balls with one stone.