Give yourself some really great head

Given the long and storied history of London pubs it's amazing that it's taken them this long to discover self-service, especially given that everyone else figures it out before they turn 12. Finally putting things firmly into the hands of the customer: The Thirsty Bear.

Now open in Waterloo, "London's first self-service pub" sees beer taps & iPads built into both mismatched wooden tables and a "barman-less bar", an idea you can literally get behind. Just hand over your plastic/cash to one of the actual-human staffers, and get in return a swipe card good towards the bar's or your table's brews (each station has at least one beer + a cider like Aspalls, etc); pouring's measured & charged down to the milliliter, so upon reviewing the receipt the next day, you'll learn that your limit is actually twelve point three pints. The 'pads will also allow you to surf the web, stick tunes on the jukebox, ping a waitress, and remotely order classic 'tails & bar food, including slow-cooked ribs, Reuben sliders, and their bacon-covered sirloin/fillet steak Bear Burger, a beast that'll send you into hibernation, and make guys who're into fat hairy dudes want to hibernate with you. Assuming you're hairy.

They're planning on adding a slew of new features, including games, messaging between tables, and a queueing system for the pool table, keeping others from hogging it, and you from playing with yourself.