Everyone says the world's tilting east, what with the rise of China, and East 17 blowing up into East 40-Going-On-41. Tilting West instead: Dime Bar & Diner
DB&D's a complete transformation of Clapham's Red Monkey, whose owners have ditched formal pan-Asian trappings for a laid-back, American retro motif filled with 1950s neon, photos and album covers from Joplin to Cash, an Elvis-worshiping "Vegas Lounge", and booths lined with vintage ads for brands like Texaco and Smith & Wesson, because good times are all about taking shots and passing gas. The menu's similarly Westernized, with burgers like the smoked bacon/ cheese/ spicy BBQ sauce/ onion ring Elvis, plus sandwiches including slow-smoked pulled pork, Philly cheesesteak, and the spicy chicken "Ragin' Cajun" -- pissed off that everyone assumes it's angry just because no other emotion rhymes with "Cajun". Not necessarily improving your English-speaking are cocktails like the ginger beer/gingerbread liqueur "Jack & Ginger", the embargo-lifting "Uncle Sam's Mojito" (apple, blueberry, cinnamon, fresh mint), and chocolate/vanilla liqueur + Kahlua "The Dude" (if you don't know what film it's inspired by, then you're obviously not a golfer).
Hidden downstairs: a holdover trio of touchscreen, soundproofed, plasma-equipped karaoke pods, all of which have a designated waitress plying you with drinks -- a great situation for staying Up All Night, though without any cool drugs you'll just run out of Steam and sit in the corner yuan-ing.